155

it was so nice out today, before it started to rain. kiddy and laur came over around 4. we went in the pool for a while then got some dinner. watched a really crappy movie, wow wasted 5 bucks on that ahaha. idek what were doing now, just laying down and watching tv. o and i love you too death, don't ever feel like this becuase it's not true. every ave tomorrrrow! ah dfw omg. bye (:

154

audrey's party was fun. i love hanging out with my best friends, even those that i haven't seen in so long that still mean everything to me. i slept at kiddys house after (surprise?) with laura and tracy. watched my best friends roll around on roller blades, lmfao i really can't. we actually slept. that never happens! got ready and left there around 1. my dad picked me up and we went and spent about 190$ on new clothes oh and a new suitcase since i'll need to pack my whole room when i leave in 5 days, aw. den i went back to kiddys and her, tracy, mike and i went to the mall. got another qt dress. 3 in one day!!!! i love you to death and you weren't there today, no conversation at all. why? what happened that made this even happen? i wish whatever it is, goes away. i miss you. idunnoz wha i'm doing tonight. staying in? movies? idk! bye (:

153

i never ended up going to the movies. i stayed home with amanda, got ice cream and ordered the uninvited. weird movie. it's so nice out today! i love summer, so much. i just got back from my neighbors little breakfast where panera catered. mmmm that was good. my hair isnt qt curled today, i needa shower and straighten it. maybe lay outside and get tan? audreys graduation party later, than hanging out with cuarto! love them. oh, six days. bye (:

152

i'll be on a plane in one week. mmmmm. i went to my neighbors surprise party today, it was fun. it actually felt like summer today. i want to go to adventure land or something fun tonight but i guess i'll just lay around and order some movies. oh hay scratch that, i'm going to see the hangover with amanda. o fun! i guess i should get ready considering i look like crap. bye (:

151

she's the reason i passed every regents. yes, i did pass every regents. 75 on bio, 69 on global and 86 on spanish. wow. i love my life. oh and i got a 3.25 for fourth quarter. i've never gotten anything higher than a 3.0. soooooo happy, i really can't. studied my ass off so i could go to california. and hey, it all payed off. i'm dying. mmmm so proud of myself. going to the mall later with amanda, fun! then relaxing all day. bye (:

150

i love my best friends. last night i slept at kiddys with laur. wow. priceless. lets just go to bed at 5 am with the pandas too! "WUT IZ ZAT LAFF ZAT CHU DEW? U DO IT SHO WELL!!!!" omg i can't. todayz we went and got pog done at the nail place, old mmrz, aw. den we went to eriks for prom pictures. everyone looked so qt. we came back and had a good 20 minute nap. "the funniest nap ever" oh okiez. mmmm tracys here now! haven't seen her in two months, dw. movie time, bye (:

149

mmm last night was fun. down poored while we were in port jeff. i think i like it better there when it's raining. i got no sleep, came home around 10 and passed out till 2:30. im going out with amanda soon, getting that qt dress that i really want. then going to kiddy's with laur. love them. bye (:

148

finally it's summer. spanish regents went well! so happy, i got a 75 on my bio regents. wow that was not expected. mmmm i'll start off my summer by hanging out with melissa, lia, jill and katie tonight. dw them. goodbye (:

147

o hai fan of the week on jcookonline.com lulz. wha a crappy day. it really needs to start feeling like summer. one more test, tomorrow. oh spanish. hopefully i do good on that. i went to the gym today with amanda and daz about it. trying to study for tomorrow, good thing regents prep has nothing on languages, unless i'm blind. whatever. i need this test just out of the way. twelve days, aw yay. bye (:

146

happy fathers day. i've done nothing today. i was supposed to go to the gym, guess not. we booked my trip to california. july fourth - fourteenth. omgz! so excited for that. thirteen days better go by quick. i might be hanging out with dakiddy later. hopefully because i'm sew bored. mmm bye (:

edit: i'm really thankful for the best friends that i have. honestly, i have no idea where i would be without those few that mean everything to me. i've recently realized who my real friends are. by having to go through some rough times, it makes me think that my life would not be the same if i didn't have you guys. i love my best friends. oh and you, wow. it's like everything just completely lit up. you have no idea, and i love it that way. but i question myself, if i ever told you, how would you react? although i think i'll keep it how it is, it would be kind of nice for you to know. maybe on day....

145

it reallly needs to stop raining, i can't take it. but hey! california soon? most likely? whutttttt! good to know. hopefully we can book a flight for sometime late next week, i will not go in the middle of july, to much going on. oh wellz, i'm gunna enjoy my tropical smoothie. maybe i'll go out later? if not then uh i'll start writing my book. bye (:

144

global regents is done, thank god. the bio answers to the regents are up online, i checked and from what calculated, i got like a 69. that better be right. around 10:30 i got home from the regents and went straight to barnes and noble to by L.A Candy, lauren conrad's book for the singing at 7. there was already a line formed, so i picked up jill and we went to get on the line. it was about 11:45. lauren and nicole met up with us about an hour or two after, we were numbers 65- 68 out of ..... 1,000. wow. after like seven hours lauren arrived, the signing was so strict. no pictures, not even a hug. i got an air hug, lulzy. she was so sweet. all of this got me thinking, i want to write a book. few people know what it will be called and based on, but i really think if i try hard enough, it can happen. plus theres so much to tell, hopefully this works. have the next three days off. OH, i got a 79 on my english final, that honestly i had to have failed, i don't know how that happend. i'm gunna start brainstorming and watch princess protection program, since demi and selena really grew on me. bye (:

143

hopefully on monday i don't get a call saying i failed the bio regents. i don't feel like i failed, but hardly passed. i've been studying for global since i got home. this is the big one. the one that i've been stressing over for months. i just want to get it over with. wish me luck and pray that i pass this. i need it. goodbye (:

142

bio regents tomorrow. i'm done with studying. i'll try my best. that's the most i can do. nobody can expect me to get an amazing grade. i'm aiming to pass, that's all. everything is just so stressfull. which makes me put it a lot harder on myself. hopefully i'll do good. wish me luck. xo. bye (:

141

i really should be studying some more, but i'm gunna go to devins with lia and melissa instead. my dad tried to convince me that i take a really long time to get ready. 2 hours, that's not too bad. ahaha, oh wellz! it's finally not raining, thank god. bye (:

edit: so my dad dosen't understand how bad i need to go to california. i haven't been there in almost 3 years, i miss it more than anything. no dad, i'm not going the end of the summer. i will pass my regents, and i will go the end of next week. adults don't get it at all. school is putting kids through hell. we have it a lot worse than you did. the stress level on every high school kid in new york is higher than ever around this time. why are we the only state with regents? forget going to a college in new york. no other colleges even look at your regents scores. so why bother, huh? it's just so much harder than it seems. to sit there and look at your notes knowing that your one test closer to summer and being done with everything for 3 months doesn't help you concentrate. i would do anything to get straight a's. please pray for me that i pass these next three regents, nobody even understands why. but i'm terrified.

140

HAAAAAAAA, my english final went horrible. if my teacher maybe didn't suck and tought us some stuff maybe i'd pass it. thank god that wasn't a regents. i came home and studied a little for global, i don't even know where to start. i have so many regents to look over but it's all a matter of my sitting still and looking at it. this was by far the worst school year of my life. i can't wait to get these three tests out of the way. bye (:

139

i'm entering the most stressful week of the year. regents. tomorrow i have an english final, i'm not too nervous. if i do bad, it's not like i can't graduate. unlike thursday and friday. bio and gobal regents. crap. my week is consisting of the gym and studying. i hope i do good tomorrow, wish me luck. xo. bye (:

138

last night was great. i went to roosevelt with amanda, alexa, cat and laur. then we got applebee's for dinner and drove around for about an hour blasting music and dancing. aw dw. i woke up and got ready. we took alexa to the airport. booo that sucks. i need to pass all my regents so i can see her and niko in like 2 weeeks. i miss her already. i dunnoz whut i'm doing later. bye (:

137

i'm so happy that everything is back to normal. i love my best friends. going to cat's house and applebees tonight, aw yes. this should be fun. i love everyone. goodbye (:

136

6 weeks ago today wus da best day of my life, i miss it. booooo. love those boys. the bio regents is in exactly a week, oh man. scared out of my mind for that. anyway, off to the mall with val and alexa then baja for dinner later. mmm bye (:

135

i want it to be july, i'm so stressed. i don't know what to do anymore . i feel like i've been saying the same thing for weeks. i'm going to port jeff later with my dad, amanda and alexa. though it's not nice out, whatever. i hate this weather. bye (:

134

i'm done trying with school. i've tried to hard and i'm getting nothing out of it. whatever. i miss my boys, a lot. i'm so excited for the new album. dnw to wait about 5 more months. mmm indoor go karting later? i think so. i'm tired. bye (:

133

this is the worst part of the year. the most stressful two weeks. this is the last full day of classes and next week is regents week. i can't deal with this stress. it all needs to be over already. i'm exhausted and i want to shave my head. my hair is making me so mad, don't you care? everyone's going out to dinner later for my aunts birthday. should be fun, love my family and alexa! goodbye (:

132

honestly, i had no idea that was coming. last night after we picked up alexa from the airport, we came home quick, dropped stuff off, and left for the city. my sister really wanted to go to chinatown so we went there for dinner and stuff. jonathan caleb and austin we're in espn at that time and i would not stop talking about it to my dad. to the point where he was really pissed off. i didn't think he would take us to times square after that. but when we got in the car he asked if they're still there and i said yes, just a guess. so we go to espn and looked everywhere. they weren't there. booo. gunz was going to times sqaure after work to meet up with them in the hotel. which i'm sitting outside of. so he told me to meet him by mtv and as i was walking i see jonathan and gunz following him. my heart literally stopped. i gave them huge hugs, we talked and got to listen to the new ftsk song, wow i love it. we we're with them for a good fifteen minutes. i love the fact that jonathan still remembers me, it's great. hopefully i see him in july. that was an amazing way to end my night. jonathan samuel cook, i love you. now we're going to jersey for a family reuinion, hopefully diz is fun. xo. bye (:

131

finally! i cleaned soooo much today, though i'm not finished. i gotta get ready then go to the mall and tropical smoothie with amanda. then picking alexa up from the airport!!!! ah yay. going to the city tonight. i really hope i see jonathan, caleb and austin. i'm not getting my hopes up, but that would just make today one of the best days ever. alright . goodbye (:

130

happy birthday pete wentz, you're 30. wtf. two years ago today was honda civic. that's when i started going to shows. it was great and i miss it. so much has changed since then. last night around 10 my phone rang, it was marissa. she was lucky enough to go to the ftsk acoustic show in times square. and i'm lucky enough to have had jonathan call me. though it was short, i'm still extreamlly happy. thank you marissa! alexa comes tomorrow! i have to clean a lot for that. then i'm going to the gym later with amanda. excited. bye (:

edit: stop making me feel like this everyday, i'm starting to hate you

129

i'm so selfish and i can't stand it anymore. i can't help myself. want to hear something that i feel horrible for? it's my dads birthday today. i woke up from jonathan, austin and caleb's tweets saying they'll be in times square tonight doing an acoustic set and hanging out. yes i love them to death but i can't leave my dad on his birthday. i cried, screamed, begged, did everything i could. but i'm not going and i just ruined my dads birthday. i feel terrible and i'm really upset with myself. i think i've finally learned not everything revolves around me. who knows, maybe i'll bump into them on saturday. happy birthday dad, i'm sorry and i love you. xo. bye (:

128

i hate being stressed, i hate knowing i have to pass three regents, i hate having to study so much, i just want it to be summer. i have nothing to write, my days are boring. do you really care that i went to the mall today? i need to see my bb on saturday so all of my problems can just be washed away, please. bye (:

127

i wish i had more interesting stuff to write about these days. well, i do. but i feel like i need to hold a few things in. it's only tuesday. i started going to regents review after school for bio. i hope this helps. i got a take home regents for global today. though i'm trying to be positive, i'm not going to pass that regents. how do you pass a regents that you find so hard and confusing. it makes absolutely no sense to me. 8 days of review, 3 days of testing, then summer. i wish i could stay completely sane about all this but it's so much pressure and stress. saturday, i'm waiting. bye (:

126

dear ian crawford, though it's upsetting, i respect your decision for leaving the cab. i'm glad i've gotten the chance to meet you. i wish you the best with what you decide to do with your life. on the other note, today was good. i went mini golfing and go karting after school with amanda and val. it was so much fun. my stomach has been killing me all day, idk what to do besides lay down. boo. i want saturday. bye (: