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to start off, i'm very tired. i need just a full week where i can sleep in, and i don't want to wait 3 more weeks for that. i've realized that all of the old feelings are coming back harder then before and honestly, i'm scared. i don't want anything to end up how it did. sometimes i wish all the feelings we're gone, but i don't think they're ever going to disappear. i need to see past that brick wall, because it's going to stop me from so many things coming and i can't take it. i think i'm going to bed really early tonight. goodbye (: